


If We Go Down

by On_kamis_green_earth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BokuAka centric, Canon Compliant, Demisexual Akaashi Keiji, Demisexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Las Vegas, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, University Student Akaashi Keiji, Vacation, akaashi centric, well not really but you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-23 01:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/On_kamis_green_earth/pseuds/On_kamis_green_earth
Summary: Akaashi has always felt out of place and often abnormal. Experiencing love throughout the years was the most beautiful and painful thing to ever happen to him and he would change none of it.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Yachi Hitoka, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, other pairs mentioned
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Let's show them we are better

**Author's Note:**

> Bokuto tossed his suit jacket on Akaashi’s desk chair and plopped on his bed. “You’re down! And we go down together.” Akaashi could feel his heart soar. He’d always have this. No kisses or confessions of love were exchange, but if he were to commit it to memory and rewrite the romantic tragedy that was his life this moment was the beginning of forever.

Romance was a concept so foreign to Akaashi Keiji that he wasn’t sure he truly understood the meaning of such a thing. Sure he had plenty of romantic suitors but nothing felt right or lasting. It was always a fleeting feeling of flattery until Akaashi inevitably turned them down because of what _he_ felt. Rather the feelings he lacked. 

Growing up in a hook-up heavy generation left him feeling empty and often abnormal. While his friends were experiencing sex and blinding following their raging hormones, he was so very uninterested. When the boys on the team would ask about his opinions on their crushes he would nod and politely agree, commenting on how the individual was a pleasant person or how they had conventionally attractive features. 

But he felt nothing. 

His first kiss wasn’t _terrible_ ; it was a fumble of lips with a close female friend of his. It just wasn’t great. There was no spark. He hadn’t expected his friend to betray him in such a way simply because the attraction between them wasn’t mutual. But rumors began spreading about him afterwards and he found himself wanting to shut himself off to others. 

He wasn’t sure what word to use to describe how he felt towards others but it was easier just allowing others to imagine whatever they wanted. Besides, at least if he was “gay” in the eyes of others he wouldn’t have to explain his lack of romantic ventures. Getting married and having children were things that were expected of young men. And certainly his family did not seem accepting of what they referred to as ‘alternative lifestyles’. At least if everyone thought he was gay, he wouldn’t have to explain why he wasn’t meeting society’s ridiculous norms. 

  
So in a way, being utterly misunderstood was Akaashi’s only defense against rejection and pain. 

By the time he was in his second week of high school, rumors had already spread that he wasn’t interested in the opposite sex. It was difficult being a first year and people avoiding you at every turn. And…they weren’t wrong. He just hadn’t felt interested in anyone. 

Until Bokuto. 

His heart would seize in his chest and squeeze when he played with the older boy and the first time it happened, Akaashi was certain he was having a heart attack. It felt like color has been painted into his life for the first time and it was vividly overwhelming. 

He _longed_ for Bokuto. And he had never longed for anyone before. 

But it wasn’t just a primal urge to kiss him stupid and tear his clothes off. It was the desire to be near him and understand him. He wanted to dissect every emotion and thought Bokuto had as if that would help him uncover some convoluted truth about himself. 

But he also found himself flustered by Bokuto and his blood rushing south everytime the older boy complimented him. It became embarrassing and comforting all at once to feel something even if he thought somewhere deep down that he should be ashamed. Akaashi fell in love and lust all at once. 

He tried to explain his feelings to his parents who had cut him off curtly during a family dinner. He would never forget the horrified expression on his mother’s face when he expressed that these rushing feelings were for a boy. Nor would he forgive his father for coldly stating, ‘I prefer you kept these urges to yourself. You must to understand that you need to abstain from them.’ 

They didn’t get it. And they didn’t want to. Akaashi had never felt so confident in expressing himself and it all came crumbling down over stove-top ramen. 

So what if his admiration was directed towards a boy? Why did it truly matter? He left the table to retreat to his room where he could breakdown in privacy. But a few days later he fell back into his normal routine. _Pretend to be anything but me._ His friends would ask whether he thought the girls in their class were hot and he would agree nodding along. 

But his eye always was on Bokuto. His feelings became all consuming for his friend and in an attempt to not allow them to cripple him, Akaashi found himself locking them away. Bokuto would always be the closest person to him but he would never let him beyond that invisible wall—not after what he had been through before. 

But at night he found himself wanting and pining for a boy who would never love him back. And if anything he felt even more isolated. He didn’t necessarily like men or women he decided, scribbling his strings of thoughts into a journal. He just liked Bokuto. But he also more than liked him, he loved him and it felt like a crushing weight on his chest. 

The first time his heart broke in two it was the formal of Bokuto’s senior year. It was the first time the setter wasn’t asked to stand by the older boy’s side. Akaashi felt foolish and angrily packed his suit in the back of his closet. 

He spent the entire night crying and silently sobbing while watching nature documentaries. He scribbled down poetry and scoffed at himself everytime his eyes glanced to his phone. He never had a chance. 

A knock at his window had him shaken and panicked until he noticed the familiar silvery hair. 

His heart skipped a beat. Bokuto had left his date early to be with him. Even if the love expressed was platonic that night it was enough and it would set the tone for their friendship throughout the years. Bokuto didn’t long for him in the same way. But no matter how many women—and eventually men—he chased, he would come back to Akaashi when it counted.

He still couldn’t resist risking masochism and asked the love of his life, “Why did you come?” 

Bokuto tossed his suit jacket on Akaashi’s desk chair and plopped on his bed. “You’re down! And we go down together.” Akaashi could feel his heart soar. He’d always have this. No kisses or confessions of love were exchange, but if he were to commit it to memory and rewrite the romantic tragedy that was his life this moment was the beginning of forever. 

…

During his pro career Bokuto crushed Akaashi heart to pieces once again. Bokuto had been seen kissing another man. That night Akaashi found himself ripping pages out of his poetry books wetting the pages with tears. 

The evening he found out about Bokuto’s recent conquests from a few accounts online he was absolutely shocked to see the headlines and his silver-haired friend with his tongue lodged down a strangers throat at a bar. 

Akaashi went through with his classes hoping that if he sent Bokuto a few texts everything would be cleared up. But Bokuto didn’t address the topic so Akaashi not so subtly sent his friend a link of an article he happened upon. 

Bokuto brushed it off vaguely expressing that he had been on a date and planned on seeing the guy again. That final message made Akaashi drop his phone and his ears pound as his phone clattered to the floor. 

Bokuto was interested in men. He was actively dating men. It made his throat constrict and his stomach turn. 

All this time, he was an option. Just not one Bokuto wanted or desired. It was a sick joke the universe played on Akaashi. He finally loved and desired for something and yet he could never have him. 

…

The nail on the coffin came soon after. Initially after his revelation, Akaashi large avoided Bokuto despite his thoughts drifting to his best friend daily. University had him very busy and his internship was rather intense so distancing himself from Bokuto and their mutual friends wasn’t as challenging as he thought. 

It wasn’t long before Bokuto was texting him daily and sucking Akaashi back in to circle the drain. His best friend was just ridiculously sweet, sending him texts reminders to care for himself. His heart still ached but…Bokuto was a drug Akaashi wasn't willing to detox from. 

Akaashi took Bokuto’s video calls regularly knowing his best friend would be littered in hickies and nail marks, ones Akaashi did not decorate him with. 

Jealousy and pain itched and burned under his skin but Bokuto hadn’t seemed to catch on to his pain at all. 

“I just like people,” Bokuto explained over a late night video call. 

Akaashi sighed and before he could stop himself he was spewing the generous knowledge he had gained through several human sexuality courses. His motivation was rooted in wanting to understand himself and for once feel normal. “Pansexual,” Akaashi said dryly. 

Bokuto crinkled his nose, “That…I don’t know. I just think people are beautiful and I enjoy having sex. You get it?” 

He scoffed, “Sure. Of course I do.” Akaashi didn’t. He had attempted to hook-up a few times and felt dirty afterwards. He didn’t connect with them and it felt forced—and not due to lack of consent. It was the lack of presence on his part. 

  
There were several times he left ashamed because he couldn’t finish. Here he was a grown man who knew exactly what his body needed to come and he couldn’t. Unless he imagined the person he was with was Bokuto. 

“I will speak with you later Bokuto.” He said and hung up quickly. Falling in love with Bokuto was foolish and selfish. His best friend’s utter disinterest in him was for the best, there was no way Akaashi could fulfill his desires. His own sex drive was practically non-existent. Once he satiated the need he was fine for quite some time. 

Bokuto needed more. 

And frankly Akaashi believed in his heart that his friend deserved more than he could ever give him. Someone as broken as Akaashi would never be able to satisfy a star. He would only dull his shine and ruin him. 

Weeks past without a call from his golden-eyed love. And just like that Bokuto felt more unattainable than ever. Like a star in the night sky. Close enough to see but certainly out of reach.

…

Hard. 

Everything was impossible challenging without Bokuto. Akaashi had become accustomed to his morning texts and evening calls. Akaashi’s internship was kicking his ass and finally he hit a breaking point calling Bokuto in a fit of tears, something he had never done. As soon as he heard Akaashi’s sniffles Bokuto demanded a video call. 

Akaashi drank a bottle of wine throughout the call, lamenting about every challenge he had faced this year. Bokuto looked tired but sat up in what looked like a hotel bed listening to every word Akaashi said even though some of them could hardly be understood. 

“I miss us Bo,” he said with a shaky breath. He brought the wine glass up to his lips and wiped at his eyes. “I miss how we used to be. Back in high school things were simpler. Now everything is—is—” The words formed on his tongue but he couldn’t muster the courage to say them. 

  
“I feel like that sometimes. Geez Akaashi you are killing me right now. I wish I was there so I could wrap you in my arms…But everything will be okay.” Akaashi was dumbfounded, where did this level-headed man come from? Bokuto was the emotional one who came to him not the other way around. 

Akaashi set his glass down and traced the rim with his finger as he spoke. “You would do that for me?” 

Bokuto tilted his head to the side and jutted his lip out. “Akaashi I would do anything for you. I hate seeing you like this. You are one of my closest friends.” _Friends. That word again._ Akaashi thought bitterly. His friend gasped and Bokuto’s eyes seemed impossibly brighter. “Kaashi, you need a vacation.” 

He snorted with a laugh, “And how am I do that? Bokuto I don’t exactly have money lying around for such things.” He hiccuped drunk on a cheap bottle of wine he polished off himself. 

“Come meet me in the states during your break. It won’t cost you a thing,” Bokuto waved his hand and propped himself up on a pillow. 

Akaashi’s eyebrows knitted together as he opened another bottle to pour his next glass. “How?” 

“Don’t worry about it Akaashi. Please just trust me your ticket will be in your email tomorrow morning. Okay?”

“Okay Bo,” he drawled and slurred. 

The camera and the alcohol may have clouding his judgement but he swore Bokuto blushed at the nickname. “Kaashi, I have never seen you so intoxicated. Drink some water and have something to eat before you go to sleep.” 

“Okay Bo, goodnight.” 

“Goodnight Akaashi.”


	2. While I'm Wasted With Someone Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to a bottle of wine and spontaneous phone calls Akaashi finds himself flying across the world to vacation with his best friend. Oh yah and he's in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “So what? There is no one. And I mean no one, I trust more than you.”

The pounding in his head was something he felt he was never going to shake. Between sobs and copious amounts of wine it was a miracle he even make it to school. But sure enough in his email was ticket to the states to visit Bokuto. 

Akaashi considered backing out several times but each time he came to the same halting conclusion. He could’t back out. It was insanely rude considering Bokuto was attempting to make him feel better and had likely paid for at least a portion of the expenses the team wouldn’t cover. Then there was another reason settling in his head. He didn’t want to back out.

He brought his laptop with him to the airport hoping to get some work done before he left. His mother had called him for her monthly check-in with him. She had eased up over the years accepting that he wasn’t going to pick the life she wanted for him, but it didn’t make the inevitable questions less undesirable. He settled in his seat on the plane, near the window hoping to find some comfort. 

In a few hours he would be meeting with Bokuto and he could feel his nerves bubbling up. He fidgeted with his fingers and wristwatch. He had no clue what this trip would bring but he selfishly hoped it brought them closer or closure. “Akaashi? Is that you?” A voice coming from the aisle squeaked. 

“Yachi. What a coincidence. Are you going for the volleyball trip?” he asked as she paused awkwardly in the aisle allowing others to walk by.

“Yes! I uh have been with—well,” she blushed and blew out a breath. 

“Yachi-san. No worries, I have seen Hinata’s accounts and Bokuto has mentioned it as well. Congratulations on your budding relationship.” 

“It’s been a few years. We got together when he was in Brazil but with him back…things are much more serious in nature. We are going to be moving in together soon.” 

“That’s lovely. I couldn’t be happier for you.” 

She patted her face with a tissue she fished out of her cardigan pocket. “May I sit with you? A familiar face may comfort me. I am a nervous flier and I didn’t want to take any medicine because I want to be alert when I see him and—“ she flushed. “It’s been a while I am sure you understand what _that_ is like. Missing a boyfriend.” 

He eyed her curiously but nodded. He wasn’t sure why she was insinuating such lewd things. Akaashi hadn’t been in a relationship for over a year and any of his romances were certainly not on the radar of his old friends. He hadn’t had a suitor in months and certainly not one who was worth even uttering their name—or remembering because everyone paled in comparison to Bokuto. 

Yachi squeaks when the plane begins moving. The petite blond begins hyperventilating and Akaashi finds himself doing deep breathing exercises with her until her panic subsides. Akaashi being the cool and collected person he is, holds Yachi’s hands tightly until they are in the air. He allows her to grip his palms and dig her nails into his arm when the plane rocks too hard. But about an hour into the flight he can only take so much and orders them both a glass of wine. 

Yachi insists on paying and after arguing with her for a few minutes he concedes. She has a part-time job and certainly Hinata was paying for the majority of her trip—or rather the team was covering her affairs as a guest. The wine is stronger and sweeter than the night he called Bokuto and he finds himself getting lost at the bottom of the bottle with his blond companion. 

Yachi is a funny drunk. She is full of giggles, life, and absolute undying lust for her boyfriend who she openly states she can’t wait to get her hands on. Akaashi finds himself rolling in snickers and hanging on her every word as she recalls many sleepless nights with Hinata Shoyo. It’s hard for Akaashi to imagine the fiery redhead—who is yet so timid around his lover when they are in public—being so vulgar but what would Akaashi know? People are different behind closed doors. He certainly made an effort to not wear his heart on his sleeve. 

“Who do you think they are flying to hook up with?” Yachi whispered with a drunken giggle jutting her thumb at a woman caking on makeup and wearing a volleyball sweatshirt. 

Akaashi snorted, several teammates of Bokuto’s rolling of his tongue with ease, like he had memorized every inch of the team. Every player, every weakness, every gap in defense, as if that knowledge would unveil some secret about the very man he loved dearly since he was a teenager. He stopped when the teammate Bokuto had been rumored to date flashed before his eyes and his name escaped his lips. 

Yachi noticed the hesitation and the tension in his jaw. “That must have been hard for you,” Yachi said observantly and Akaashi only offered a half shrug. “Akaashi you are a real catch and quite the gem.” He snorted as she continued to slur compliments while squeezing his face between her small pams. “I’m serious! Your eyes are beautiful and you smell like clean linen and sandalwood. Any man would be lucky to have you.” 

She pulled away and he grabbed to hold her hand while patting under his eyes. Yachi removed his glasses for him, careful to not dirty them. “Thank you Yachi-san. I needed to hear that. Maybe not exactly that, but close.” 

The blond smack her hands on her thighs, ”So, Akaashi, are you excited to see your boyfriend?" 

“My boyfriend?” he repeated with a hint of confusion. 

“Bokuto,” Yachi said and took a sip of her second or third glass of wine—Akaashi wasn’t counting. 

The dark-haired man sighed deeply, “We are not together. We never have been but—“ 

“You haven’t?” she asked with genuine shock lacing her tone. “I truly thought you were.”

“No. But my feelings for him are so very strong and I feel like an idiot thinking I could sleep in a bed separate from the love of my life on a trip with a bunch of actual lovers.” 

“Things may change.” Yachi grabbed his hand tenderly, “He would be foolish not to have you.”

…

Landing had Yachi in tears as the alcohol from the flight had worn off. Akaashi held her hand even as they exited the plane and she fixed her makeup before they made their way to exit the gate. He carried her bags and she gripped his palm tightly until a familiar redhead was in sight. 

She turned to look up at Akaashi who put out his free arm to take her second carry-on. Yachi jogged to Hinata who with ease, scooped her up off the ground, his cheeks flushing pink. 

Akaashi felt a blush crawl up to his own cheeks. Back home this display would feel indecent but based on his limited knowledge—and experience from the last few minutes— Americans were more…touchy. So the pecks and kisses Hinata and Yachi exchanged were likely rather tame. She had her legs wrapped around Hinata’s waist and the redhead waved at him as he approached. “I am glad you were able to take care of her for me. Baby have you been drinking?” Hinata teased arms cradling under her to support her small frame before setting her down. 

She gently smacked his chest, “Don’t pretend as though you haven’t been drinking nightly with Bokuto and your teammates. And yes. Akaashi and I happened to enjoy some adult beverages.” 

Hinata put his hand out to shake Akaashi’s roughly. He placed his left hand over their joined palms and cleared his throat gruffly, “Again. Thank you for caring for her when I could not.” The words were kind but their was no warmth in Hinata’s voice and his cheery smile had disappeared as Yachi was occupied with her bags.

Akaashi’s icy eyes blinked slowly at the redhead who was looking rather intense. His alcohol clouded brain caught up with exactly what Hinata was concerned with. “Of course Hinata. It is the least I could do for an old acquaintance. Yachi is rather smitten with you I must say. She is looking forward to the dates you have planned.” 

Hinata relaxed the death grip he had on Akaashi’s palm and his smile returned. “Ah. I see thank you then.” Akaashi shook out his hand, wincing in pain and the redhead snickered before removing his hoodie to hand off to Yachi. “Here you go baby.” 

Akaashi looked around. Maybe he misunderstood but he swore Bokuto said he would be meeting him at the airport. “Oh Akaashi, Bokuto sends his apologies, he was busy in his room.” 

His chest tightened and he nodded, “Oh very well then.” He tried to ease his panic. Bokuto invited him as a friend. There was nothing to be upset over. They weren’t together so there was no reason to hurt if he was seeing someone else. 

Yachi smacked the redhead’s chest. Apparently she was under the same assumption. “What?” Hinata asked with genuine curiosity and his girlfriend answered with an eye roll. 

Akaashi handed Hinata Yachi’s bags. “We better get going then.” 

…

When he got up to the room it was empty, lacking a certain boisterous man and it was cleaned—spotless. If someone else was here with Bokuto there certainly wasn’t any evidence of it. He was almost relieved that not only was Bokuto not in the room but there wasn’t a teammate or a stranger—for that matter—leaving it. 

The hotel was quite nice. He wasn’t sure what he expected from the American party city but when he had looked up hotels on the strip they tended to be more heavily themed and marketed towards specific interests. This hotel was clean and had a less gaudy aesthetic. The art decorating the walls was sophisticated and simple, lacking the typical flash and flare. 

The room wasn’t massive but it was definitely large enough for at least four people. There were two queen sized beds on opposite ends of the room with a bedside table in-between. The dresser was short and long with a TV on top. There was a decent sized patio with a small table near the sliding glass door. He set his bags down, unsure where it would be appropriate for him to place his belongings. Bokuto likely wouldn’t mind but Akaashi would hate to be rude and step on his toes.

Akaashi noticed a basket sitting on the table near the window. There was a card with his name on it scribbled in a very familiar handwriting. He opened the card to see a short note Bokuto had addressed to him. 

_Thanks for agreeing to come on this adventure with me. I know your stressed out with school but we are going to have the time of our lives!_

_Relax and get ready for dinner at 6pm in the hotel lobby._

_Bokuto_

The basket was filled with different snacks that weren’t usually seen back home. It made Akaashi smile widely one that despite being alone he attempted to cover with his palm. Maybe this trip wouldn’t be a disaster after all. 

…

After freshening up and putting what he would later determine was far too much effort into his appearance, Akaashi sent Bokuto a thank you text and let him know that he had arrived. He was feeling a bit nervous. The way Bokuto had worded the invitation on his note he wasn’t sure if this would be a solo dinner or group event. 

He loathed being late so he left the room a little early. All hope for a romantic evening alone died as soon as he was met with Kenma standing in the hallway. He was dressed nice in a pair of simple skinny jeans and red button down untucked. Kenma's hair was pulled back in a small bun at the base of his neck. Akaashi hadn’t seen him in years and it was strange to see the quiet blond looking even moderately polished. Then Akaashi noted the converse with indiscernible scribbles on the toe, likely courtesy of Kuroo. Okay so maybe Kenma hadn’t changed much, he was glued to his phone as usual.

In short he had made one conclusion, it was decidedly a group dinner. 

Kenma looked up briefly and waved slightly. “Akaashi, good to see you,” Kenma said with little vigor or energy. “Kuro. Let’s go bedhead. You are going to be late.” he called over his shoulder.

“If I am late, you’re late,” Kuroo called out from the room. 

Kenma let out a small huff, smiling fondly, “Yes, but the biggest difference is you care.” 

“Alright,” Kuroo walked out. “And bedhead?” He waved at his hair. “This is your masterpiece from earlier today,” he snickered and it made Kenma blush. Kuroo put his hand out expectantly for his boyfriend to grab. “Akaashi, how was your flight? Bokuto was worried since you hadn’t messaged him. He’s like a puppy excited for it’s owner to come back.” 

Akaashi walked alongside the other two men. He may have looked unimpressed or unbothered but his heart skipped at Kuroo’s implication. Bokuto was looking forward to seeing him. “It just didn’t cross my mind until I had gotten ready.” 

“Ahhh. Okay,” Kuroo said wearing his typical smug smile. “Well no worries, Hinata let him know you were here safe and sound. Speaking of which, you had shrimpy all fired up. What was that about?” Kenma jutted his elbow into Kuroo’s side in warning. “What? I am just saying.” 

“He has nothing to be concerned about. Yachi only has eyes for him and I do not have an interest in her,” Akaashi stated curtly, hoping to end the conversation. 

“Ah got you eye on someone else,” Kuroo said stopping in front of the restaurant for Kenma to catch up as he had fell behind deliberately. 

Akaashi froze and sputtered which made Kuroo chuckle even more. “I am simply here for a vacation, now, shall we go inside?” he asked and didn’t wait for an answer as he headed for the table Hinata and Yachi were sitting at. A handful of other team members were already there but when he eyes landed on the familiar silvery hair—time stopped. 

Bokuto looked up and smiled bright as he locked eyes with Akaashi. He stood up, “Hey, hey, hey, there’s my guy!” He wrapped Akaashi in a hug caused the other man to flush—luckily he was able to hide his face in Bokuto’s shoulder. “I’m glad you saw my note,” he said and pulled back, his hands remaining on Akaashi’s trim, veiny forearms. 

“Yes, thank you for the basket. I appreciate the effort.” 

“Okay kids let’s get settled,” Kuroo pestered and Kenma shot him a look that made the taller man stop his teasing.

“Of course! Anything for you,” he said and pulled Akaashi’s chair out for him. The dark-haired man couldn’t hear anything but his heartbeat throughout dinner. He certainly didn’t expect the evening to be shared with an entire group, but he was savoring the way Bokuto treated him. He wasn’t much for gender roles but his mother would describe it as, gentlemanly—though she would likely make a point to say that Akaashi shouldn’t be enjoying that. But he disregarded those thoughts recalling the way Bokuto had called him _my guy_. That was something he could fantasize about getting used to. The feeling that blossomed in his chest was warm and radiating though out his body.

Dinner was rather uneventful overall, which was a treat considering how rowdy Hinata and Bokuto often got. There was a lot of small talk which Akaashi nor Kenma had ever been good at so Kuroo, Bokuto, and the others carried the conversation. Akaashi spoke rarely on the occasion that someone asked about his schooling and internship. Bokuto effortlessly filled the gap when Akaashi was struggling to juggle conversation and socialize. It was a familiar comfort and banter they always fell into.

Yachi was a bit more bubbly with Hinata by her side. The level of comfort that she had around the fiery red head was nearly tangible. It was pleasant to see a couple who complimented each other so well. Where one was weak the other was adept. It was as if he was looking at a sun and moon personified. 

Kuroo and Kenma’s banter was as entertaining as always. The quieter of the two may look nearly annoyed with his boyfriend but everyone at the table knew better, especially with Kenma openly holding Kuroo’s hand on top of the table. Kenma covered dinner for the group as a thank you and that left Akaashi wondering if he had gone into the wrong career field entirely—and tempted him to order another drink. 

After dinner the pairs parted ways. Most of the group was going to a bar but Kuroo and Kenma had decided to go walk the strip. After all, Kenma was essentially nocturnal. Akaashi and Bokuto decided to make their way back to their room and the generous liquor had loosened Akaashi’s lips. “I hope we don’t have the room next to Shoyo and Hitoka,” Akaashi boldly exclaimed. “The things she has planned for him, she told me about on the plane…I would rather not hear them.” 

Bokuto snickered and wrapped his arm around Akaashi’s shoulders. “Well, we got the room at the end of the hall so we will only be hearing the Miya twins yelling at each other over the phone,” Bokuto snickered and slipped off his leather jacket. “So I know it’s your first night here so you might want to take it easy but I thought we could hit the mini bar.” 

“Sure…” he trailed off, accepting the drink given to him. “Bokuto can I ask you something?” Akaashi couldn’t look him in the eye, staring down at his fingers as he picked at them. 

“Of course,” he said sitting down next to Akaashi at the edge of one of the beds. 

“You invited Kuroo-san and Kenma. Why?” _Why was I not enough?_ His brain mocked. 

“Kuroo works with us regularly and I didn’t initially think you would _want_ to come. It was going to be a bros thing but he wanted to take Kenma as soon as he heard you would be joining.” 

“Why…?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Bokuto half-shrugged, “He said he didn’t want to feel like a third wheel and well Kenma is his person you know?”

Guilt and insecurity washed over him. “Well I apologize for imposing,” Akaashi mumbled. 

“Don’t!” Bokuto beamed and it made Akaashi smile softly. “We had plenty of bro time. I had room service come and change your bed so there is no rooster sweat in it and he got a room for when Kenma flew in yesterday.” 

“Thanks…” Akaashi trailed off, fidgeting with his fingers. 

Bokuto plopped back on the bed—designated as Akaashi’s—and grabbed Akaashi’s hands, “I’m really glad you decided to come. I get the feeling you are up in your head about this and I don’t want you to be.” 

Akaashi blinked rapidly and spread him palm out against Bokuto’s. He bit his lip nervously, “About what?” 

“Kuroo and the invite. And here’s the thing Akaashi. Kuroo and I hang out _a lot_. But it’s always been you,” he said and Akaashi could feel the skin on his neck burning. Once again his best friend had absolutely zero idea the implication of his words and the effect they had on him. 

And a piece of Akaashi’s heart would always hope that his friend would realize something. Akaashi laced their fingers together, noting how his hands were slightly larger than Bokuto’s. “I only planned on inviting him over you because it’s good for his career you know? But you are the one closest to me, Akaashi. That hasn’t changed.” 

He inhaled shakily, “But…hasn’t it? I mean it’s been years since volleyball club. We have different lives.” 

“So what? There is no one. And I mean _no one_ , I trust more than you.” Bokuto smiled lazily and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. “It’ll always be you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave any comments and thoughts!

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment! I have never wrote this pairing! 
> 
> This fic was inspired by the song 'Paris' by the Chainsmokers.


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